Today I realized that my stomach is beginning to grow. I've been lazy...not doing my usual 150 crunches. Instead, I've been eating Cap'n Crunch and malts for breakfast. Mmmmm...malt.

Augi Factoid: In 1987, I weighed a whopping 156 pounds, all which went to my forehead.

Disgusted with myself, I purchased the Jane Fonda workout and began a four month journey to svelteness. I went from 156 to 125. My friends all commented, "God, you're thin. Are you doing smack?"

No smack, my friends. Just pure aerobic joy. Fuck pilates, yoga and the all-protein diet. If you wanna lose weight, do the Fonda.