TELEMARKETERS - DON'T MESS WITH AUGI!

Do you like caller ID? I do. I use it before I answer any call. Today was just such an example. I looked and saw the old "Unknown number" dialing in. I usually ignore these calls but was feeling feisty so I answered in a thick Irish accent.

"Hello, what can I do fer you?"

"Um, hello...our records indicate you were formerly on AT&T."

"Who's this?" I said, staying in character.

"Sir, this is Anthony from AT&T and I'd like to reduce your long distance bill."

What Anthony doesn't know is, I used to work for AT&T. "Really now? Well, what have you got for me, Bobby?"

"Sir, the name's Anthony."

"OK., Bobby." (Can't resist!)

"We've got a calling plan..."

I interrupt him. "What do you want me to reach out and touch today, Bobby?"

He's getting ruffled but he's determined. "I want to help you save some money."

"Oh, I use an access code for that."

Anthony thinks he's going to snare me. "Is that right? Did you know you're paying a fee on your bill even if you don't make any calls?"

But he doesn't have me. "Is that right, Bobby? Well, I looks at me bills carefully and I ain't seen no extra charges. I'm anal."

He laughs. "Haa! Anal. OK. How much are you paying, sir?"

"I'm paying nothing, Anthony. I don't have a phone!"

Now he's really confused. "Uh, um...you don't have...what are we talking on?"

"Gotcha, boy! I pay 5 cents a minute. Can ya beat that?"

Anthony knows I've won. "Sir, you know, I can't beat that but it's been fun talking to you."

"You too, lad. Have a good day, Bobby."

-a